Well. It’s been one hell of a week. A hell of a couple weeks actually.
Physical / emotional / spiritual healing are all connected. You cant start healing one without seeing a need for healing in another. Theres even science to prove that our body stores emotion.
So anyway - recently, trying to heal physically, I ran right into some childhood trauma I didn’t even know I had. And maybe the word “triggered” has been overused lately - and maybe the word is such a release for people in pain that we should stop making jokes about it and let them say it as many times as they need to feel healing.
Because lemme tell YOU. I was triggered.
It was as if I was 6 years old again. I was flooded with flashbacks that left me anxious and frozen. I found myself reliving old coping mechanisms I thought I had put to rest long ago, like overworking, overeating, and overreacting. I was exhausted and eating mindlessly and crying randomly.
Thankfully, though, I finally have the knowledge and resources to still make (mostly) good eating decisions. So with the exception of crushing baked goods this week, I continued to eat a lot of organic plants.
My boyfriend has been my rock through all of this. And I was even able to connect with a therapist.
But if you’re like me and don’t regularly see a therapist for whatever reason, do yourself a favor and find The Holistic Psychologist on Instagram. She is an incredible light and generous resource.
Anyway, the best news is that it led to a whole new level of healing with my parents that I never thought I would ever get to. And I see that they are continuing to heal and make better choices for themselves. It’s so beautiful to see how focusing on our own healing creates space for others to do the same. Immediately after making peace, the PTSD subsided.
Here’s what I learned about that:
• Shame, not your bad habits, is the true enemy
• Support is essential. Don’t be afraid to lean on others
• People change. Give them a chance if you can.
• You are not who you used to be. If you survived it once without the awareness, you can thrive now with it.
As for food...
I am on Day 2 of the Liver Rescue 3:6:9 plan by Medical Medium.
While I am seeing a lot of my symptoms disappear and lessen, I’m still not getting the results I want. Especially with the psoriasis on my skin. It’s being stubborn as hell.
I know my poor liver has been overburdened by my lifestyle - I used to work in bars as a musician and just drink all the time, I ate horribly growing up, and lately I’ve been focusing only on my stomach and intestines for healing. Which means my liver is getting all of the metals and bacteria and other toxins that my system is getting rid of
So, if nothing else, I want to show it some kindness this week.
I will let you know how it goes!
On top of all that - I’m selling my first car. Today I took 4 hours to deep clean my ‘07 Subaru and thank it for everything it’s done for me. I literally cried taking off the stickers on the back. That car was my first taste of real freedom. I even slept in it in a Chick Fil E parking lot one night with just my pup, because I was that desperate to get to the ocean. It’s amazing what material gifts we have that we take for granted.
Overall, this is turning out to be a very intense season of shedding and release. And as it should be because it confirms that I will be, and should be, leaving soon.
For now, I hope you set your phone down, and place your hands on your chest and belly, and just thank your body for all that it’s done for you, and tell it that it’s enough as it is.
All my love.